Building Resilience in Educators

May 16, 2021

Final words:  I truly feel that Onward can be a professional development for teachers that is never ending.  There are so many important ideas, strategies and activities to try.  It is a book that I could read every year.  My goal next year is to take time to read this blog each month to remember the big ideas and then try at least one of the suggested activities that month.  I hope this blog has intrigued you to examine and grow your resilience and I'd love to help you in any way you'd like.

May 16, 2021

May's focus is Celebrate and Appreciate.  Aguilar says, " Endings are times for celebration and appreciation, which lay the foundation for resilience in the days ahead."  The more I think about this statement in all facets of my life, the more I believe it.  Without stopping and taking the time to celebrate and appreciate endings, you can't truly understand how much growth or change you've made.

I put off the end of the school year until almost the last week.  One of my teacher mentors, Angela Watson from 40 Hour Teacher Work Week, has taught me that the longer you can continue routines the smoother the end will be. She also has a plan for tearing down the classroom, with students, that takes less than a day.  I do this on the 2nd to last day of school and then I have a small ceremony to celebrate and reflect with my students.  The 2nd graders get to pick a goodbye anthem, either a poem or song that we've used in the classroom, we listen to it and then we share a few things we appreciate and will remember about that 2nd grader.  I try to portray to each of my students how they will always have a place in my heart and I would always do anything to help them.  I've always wanted to get class t-shirts to bring us together even more, but just haven't done it.  This year a couple things I'd like to add to my end of year routine. First,  write a short affirmation to each child.  Written affirmations is one of my love languages and I feel like words are so powerful.  Second, I'd like to use an idea from the book about tossing a ball of yarn across the room until every child is holding an ending.  Then chanting, "We will always be connected."  As each child catches the yarn, they can share what it has meant to them to be a part of our classroom community.  

Celebration boosts our resilience, because, in looking back, we select the strands of a story that we weave into a narrative of our strength.  We edit our memories, selecting those that align with our core values and reflect who we want to be in the world. (Aguilar, 290)

Gratitude

Aguilar stresses the importance of showing gratitude. She asks us to imagine if there were structures built into our work day that would allow us to take a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes in the afternoon to express gratitude, how we'd feel about being at school every day.  She believes this could in turn help us to be more patient with our students and colleagues.  One way I try to build this into my day for students is to through using the Secret Admirer strategy that Aguilar shared earlier in the book.  At the end of the morning math block and afternoon literacy block, students are able to give a shout out to the person they were secretly admiring.  We use a checklist to make sure that everyone gets a turn in the week.  Also at the end of the day I've used a strategy called "I'm glad I came to school today because.. . "  I started this strategy because I wanted my students to love coming to school and I thought if I brought some of the good things about coming to school to the surface it would help.  But I also see how this can be a gratitude practice and get the same benefits.  I have 2 students share each day why they are glad they came to school today.  Most of the time they talk about getting to play at recess with some friends, but sometimes I'll hear things like getting to start a new art project or sing a new song in music.

Appreciate Yourself

This month, rather than share ideas from the work book I'm going to share some ways to appreciate yourself.  Aguilar reminds us that the only person who knows how much you put into your teaching is you. 

Think of 3 Things - At the end of the day (or week), select 3 things that went well and describe your role in making it happen.  Having a written account may make it even more powerful.  I have a timer in my phone set for 3:25pm each day reminding me to stop and reflect in my teaching reflections google doc.  Some days I ignore it, some days I write.  I will add this to my ways to reflect.

Set an Alarm - Set an alarm a few times a day.  When it goes off, take a moment to appreciate yourself for whatever you're doing right then.

Write a Letter of Appreciation - At the end of a day or week, write yourself a letter of appreciation.  They may be words that you wish someone would say to you.

Aguilar reminds us to relax and take in the appreciation.  When someone gives you words of appreciation, take a breath, let the other's appreciation sink in, and then simply say, "Thank you."

Disposition: Trust

• The process of recollection makes you stronger
• Trust the process - it works.
• Resilient people trust themselves and they trust a process.

A word about awe and wonder - Aguilar explores these positive emotions a bit in this chapter.  I connected to her ideas my listening and reading from middle school teacher turned college professor John Spencer.  He speaks about seeing the classroom as a constant experiment, looking at it with awe and wonder.  I also connected to these positive feelings as we've been preparing and planting the garden the last couple weeks with students.  Seeing the garden with awe and wonder through their eyes, definitely is uplifting and a reason to feel good.

Reflection Questions

• How were your thoughts and feelings about appreciation and celebration affected or changed by this chapter?
• Of the different ideas and practices that were raised in this cahpter, which are you most interested in exploring further?

April 18, 2021

April's focus is Ride the Waves of Change.  Aguilar says, "Perseverance, patience, and courage help us manage change."

It's quite ironic that I read this chapter about change as my husband and I consider a very big change in our lives.  I thought this chapter was applicable both to our personal and professional lives.  I don't know if any major changes for next year professionally (but who knows) so I also chose to read this chapter through the lens of challenges.

Key quotes:

• We wouldn't need resilience if things never changed.  Resilience is HOW we deal with obstacles, challenges and setbacks.

• Resilience comes from how you perceive and adapt to change - and thinking of change as holding the potential for both danger and opportunity is crucial.

• Resilient people accept that change is the norm and believe they can exert great influence over the events in their lives.  They also accept that all they can control is their response to things that happen.

• The essential question to ask yourself is, "Where do I want to put my energy?"

• Ask yourself: How might this change help me thrive?  Is there any way that I might emerge from this stronger than before?

4 Principles to Manage Unwanted Change

1. Slow Down :  This will help you think clearly and assess the situation.  Notice and name your feelings.  Give yourself 24 - 48 hours to think before you take action or make a decision.

2. Evaluate and Analyze the Situation: Ask yourself questions such as; What's the story I'm telling myself about this change (remember Brene Brown)? What is within my influence?   What might be possible if I challenge this change?  What else do I need to know in order to have a more complete understanding of what's going on?

3.  Use Your Energy Where It Counts

4.  Be Open to Outcomes:  Be open and unattached to what you're envisioning.  It might be helpful to look at a situation and say, "Right now, this is how things are."  

WE MUST DEAL WITH FEAR.  Recognizing emotions as we are experiencing them and have strategies to deal with what we see.

Leading change most often includes learning; in order for people to do something different, we need to address skill, knowledge, capacity, will cultural competency, and emotional intelligence.  Remember the Conscious Competence Ladder and the Mind the Gap framework?!

Aguilar says, "If you're asking for growth, you're asking for learning.  As the facilitator or leader of this effort, you are responsible for creating the optimal conditions for learning and for thoughtfully guiding them through the learning.  

The Backfire Effect:  When someone shares information with you that contradicts a strongly held belief and your fear causes you to hold on to your belief even more tightly than before.  As a leader, create an experience in which the people whose minds you are trying to change feel comfortable and safe.  

A Few Ways to Mitigate Fear and Change 

1. Reflect on why you do what you do.

2. Humanize the need for change.  Talk to students and families about their school experiences.

3.  Listen to each other.

4.  Talk about and normalize emotion, especially fear.

5.  Envision new realities with others.

A Word about Patience

• Patience is an emotion and a skill.
• Patience begins when we can accept ourselves and the way things are.  To do this we need courage, equanimity, and trust.  
• Patience is about letting go of stories you hold about others.  
• Patience calls on us to be fully present and to pay attention to exactly how things are in the moment.

Disposition: Perserverance

• Completing challenges strengthens this disposition.
• Look toward long term goals
• View setbacks as opportunities for growth.
• Remind yourself of what matters and why you're doing whatever you're doing.  Acknowledge your fear and tell yourself that you CAN do whatever you're trying to do.  

Implications for Leaders:

1.  It may be helpful to keep the concept of spheres of control and influence at the forefront of your mind when working with upset people.  Coach them in their awareness of the choices they're making about where to put their energy.

Opportunities for Growth from the Onward Workbook: 

There were SO many great ideas for this chapter in the workbook here are my top 5 that I'm committing to try this month.

1.  The Roots of our Attitude Toward Change - We've acquired our attitude toward change over the course of our life - perhaps from our family of origin, our culture, and the organizations with which we've affiliated.  Reflect on these origins.

2.  Face Your Fears - What are you afraid of?  What's the worst that can happen?  

3. Which Changes do you Desire? - Imagine you have a magic wand.  What are those personal and professional changes that you want to make?

4. Honoring What You've Lost - What have you lost that you feel nostalgic for?  What have you lost that you wish you could honor?  What do you miss?

5. Metaphors for Patience - What color, season, animal, and sounds embody patience?

Chapter Reflection

• How did the ideas in this chapter affect your feelings about change?
• What was most useful to you?
• What implications for action were there for you?
• How could you apply these ideas to something happening for you right now?

Elena Aguilar just happened to begin a How to Feel Better Program on her podcast focusing on resilience this month. They are short (15ish minutes) episodes that focus on various exercises from the book Onward.  They've been authentic, applicable and enjoyable to listen to.  The program is completely free too!  Here is the link to sign up OR just subscribe to her podcast Brightmorning.

March 3, 2021

March's focus is Play and Create. Aguilar says, "Creativity and play unlock inner resources for dealing with stress, solving problems, and enjoying life. . . fuels our courage.

I am honestly not a very playful or funny person so this chapter is super important to me and reminds me that I MUST try hard at this.

According to Brown (2009, p.12) "Play is the vital essence of life."

"Play isn't just a thing I do; it's an attitude I take toward life."  This quote reminded me of John Spencer from the Creative Classroom.  A long time ago I heard him say in a podcast that when you try new things in the classroom to look at them with curiosity like experiments.  I try really hard to not get down on myself when something doesn't work in the classroom but instead to stand back and watch with curiosity to try to learn something new about kids or the practice of teaching.

Aguilar suggests starting small, just try playing once a week.  

Ideas to try:

• Have teachers brainstorm ways they like to play and share those ideas out with everyone.  Then try incorporating some of those in small ways into meetings.
• Try a game from improvisational theater as a community builder at the start of a meeting; Zip Zap Zop?
• Provide basic percussive instruments such as boomwhackers at meetings to teachers.  
• Offer check in (we call them engages) discussion prompts that are fun.
• Consider how to incorporate play into a PD session and still meet the session's goals while being engaging, creative and some humor.

Aguilar says, " Because of the daily wear and tear on the vision we aspire to build, we need regular doses of inspiration and kindling for our spirits.  Art can provide that infusion of hope and optimism that keeps us moving onward."

What types of art inspire you?  I love to dance and watch dance, listen to music (and sing awfully), photography and journaling.  

Disposition: Courage

Opportunities for Growth from the Onward Workbook: 

Because I DO struggle with being playful I tried to pick activities from the workbook that I would actually try.

1.  Your Play Personality - Stuart Brown identifies 8 "play personalities".  Which one is your most dominant?  Which would you like to explore?  Think of your close friends.  What are their play personalities?

2.  Thank you, Courage.  What can you thank courage for?  When has it shown up and guided you, pushed you, carried you? See if you can think of 9 things.

3.  A Play List - Create a list of activities that you've found enjoyable and playful.  Add to the list whenever you get another idea and then when you need it, it's ready for you:)

Some ideas I had:

• Knit
• Embroidery
• Bake
• Listen to music
• Play card games
• Play yard games
• Play disc golf

4.  Map Your Day - Depict your day visually by using pictures, words, lines and arrows.  Try selecting moments from your day that might seem small but that stand out.  For example my map might have a cup of coffee, tennis shoes (for daily work out), plate of food for when I ate supper with my family, etc.  Maybe it will help us pay attention to our day differently.

5.  Create a Community Sketchbook (I think this one would be great for Central) - Buy a brand new sketchbook.  It is to be passed around to colleagues with the instruction to draw in it and pass it along.  Prompts might be "Share the highlight of your day".  They could even change the prompt for the next person.  When the book is filled, pass it around again so that everyone can see what it was filled with.

6.  A Collage of Student Voices - Take a day when at school and listen to what your students say.  Try to collect fragments of their words for a collage.  Then fill in the page of speech bubbles with the phrases you've collected.

New book to read:

What is something you feel like trying this month?  How can I help you?  Remember I'm always available for a conversation.  

February 29, 2021 

While home in quarantine for Covid, I watched a really great show on Netflix called Brene Brown: The Call to Courage.  I've linked the trailer and I tell you it is well worth the hour!  

I cried, I laughed and I loved Brene even more than I did before.  She spoke truth and about real issues.  One take away I had was "The story I'm telling myself. . . "

Our brains are hard-wired to be logical, to figure out why something is happening, or to create a story. 

So . . . next time you have a misunderstanding with someone start the conversation with patience and calmness by saying, "The story I'm telling myself is. . . " It might not be correct, but it's how you're feeling and it will help the other person understand where you're coming from.

February 7, 2021

February's focus is Be a Learner.  Aguilar states, ". . . learning is a path to growth and resilience."

This chapter explores the questions:

1. How do we learn?

2. How do we change?

3. How do we improve?

4. How do we create the conditions in which we can learn?

Two important frameworks 

The Conscious Competence Ladder - helps us understand 4 stages of learning.  It highlights the factors that affect our thinking as we learn a new skill.  

Leaders should try to use the ladder when guiding people through the learning process.  At the beginning stage make sure to give lots of positive feedback, help people see their strengths and make sure to show clear and concrete models of high competence.  Normalize emotion.  As people move into the conscious competence stage provide encouragement and remember the key word "yet".   At the conscious competence stage keep people focused on the skills they've learned and give plenty of time to practice those skills.  Finally at the last stage, offer opportunities to stay up-to-date with their skills and invite them to teach others.

Mind the Gap - is a reminder to pay attention to the space between a desired ability and current ability.  It helps us get clear on what we need to learn and how to get started on that learning.

I thought about Central Elementary School's  Professional Development and how well we are using these 2 models.   Take our Guided Reading/ Word Work professional development.  Did we make sure we recognized and honored that our colleagues could be at any of the rungs of the Conscious Competence ladder?  I think we did, when Erin created the Canvas course and we all began with some basic knowledge and time to reflect on our understanding with our teams.  Did we Mind the Gap and stop to think about where the missing pieces are for individuals in our building to use Guided Reading and Word Work the best they can?  Did we differentiate to begin to fill in those gaps? Aguilar reminds us that we all have gaps, they are the indicators that we can still learn and grow.  

You might be thinking; I don't have TIME to be a learner or to do any of a number of things that could build your resilience and make your life more joyful.  Aguilar suggests these time and energy management strategies.  

• Confront the planning fallacy
• Chunk it
• Make to-do lists
• Obey the calendar
• Use focusing mechanisms
• Stop multitasking
• Pause and renew
• Get the hardest stuff done first
• Enlist company 
• celebrate small wins

The items on this list that are in bold I have learned about and heard many times from a teacher mentor of mine, Angela Watson.  She is a national board certified teacher, instructional coach and now entrepreneur with a blog The Cornerstone for Teachers, podcast Truth for Teachers, multiple published books, and courses.  About 8 years ago I took her course called the 40 Hour Teacher Work Week and I continue to learn from that course every time I revisit it. Angela completely changed my management systems and made me wake up to how much time in my own life that I was missing.  Some time and energy management strategies I've implemented because of her direct teaching include:

1.  I was always anxious about how much time it took to prepare the room for students at the beginning of the year.  One time, I finally timed myself.  Now when it comes time to get my room ready; I have a realistic understanding of how much time I need and then my anxiety doesn't get the best of me.  I did the same thing for report card completion.

2.  Angela calls it Batch it, instead of Chunk it, but I think they are basically the same principals.  Stick with 1 task until it is complete, like checking all of 1 assignment or doing all of the copying.  Also break large projects into smaller, easier to complete steps.  You will save a ton of time and feel accomplished more often.

3.  I now make to do lists for nearly everything.  Including what to do during my daily teacher prep times (Aguilar's obey the calendar) and my summer cleaning.  It saves time from having to think about what needs to get accomplished to being able to just get right to work.  

4.  Angela also emphasizes getting the hardest and/or most important thing done first.  When I am feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list I stop and say to myself, "What is the MOST important thing that has to get done?"

I have created a sort of Pause and Renew routine for myself when I need it on the weekends that works for me.  When I have a lot of things to do and feel really unmotivated to do any of them, I give myself permission to do something I want to (like read, watch a show on Netflix, sew, workout, call a friend or do a puzzle) for a certain amount of time with the agreement with myself that then I have to something on my nonpreferred list before I can do something I want to do again.  Sometimes I'll have to use this routine all day to get everything done on my list.  

Disposition: Curiosity

Curiosity is what makes us want to investigate, listen, ask questions and take risks.  Ask yourself more often, What can I learn from this moment? From this challenge?

Opportunities for Growth:  

• Model being a learner, share your learning practices and let others see you as a learner.  

• Adults AND kids need duty-free breaks every 90 - 120 minutes.  How can you build in these opportunities?

• Consider a late start for kids (rather than an early out) for PD so it can take place when everyone is more alert and engaged (way to go NCSD!) .

• According to 1 study, teachers need 50 hours of PD in a given area to improve their skills and their students' learning.  When creating the plan for PD, keep this number in mind.  Might need to limit the number of programs, goals, or initiatives.  

From the Onward WorkBook: 

There were SO many good ideas from the workbook that go with this chapter.  I'll share my top 3 that I'm committed to trying but please contact me if you'd like to know about more of them.

1.  Ask a Question p471 - a simple morning meditation to anchor yourself in curiosity.  Set your timer for 3-5 minutes, sit quietly, close your eyes, take a few slow breaths and then ask one of these questions:

• How can I be more patient with ___ (name a colleague or student)
• How can I notice the bright spots today?
• Where can I find joy in teaching today?

2.   Get Rid of Uncomfortable Clothes p.478- being slightly uncomfortable in your clothes will drain your resilience.  Learn about your body and what it needs to feel comfortable.  What do you love to wear?  What do you feel good in?  Go fill up a bag full of uncomfortable clothes and donate it.

3.  Whom Do I want as a Mentor  p.482- According to Dr. Anders Ericsson, the first step in getting better at anything is to find a mentor.  This needs to be someone whom you admire, who is doing something in a way that you might like to do it.  A mentor can help you identify what you might need to learn and the steps involved to acquire the skill set that he or she has.    Make a list of people you would like as a mentor.

Ok. . . one more. 

4.   Indicators of a Learning Organization p.488- How can we use these indicators to help our learning organization grow?

Here are some questions for reflection that I'd love to talk more about with you:)

What feelings came up for you when reading this chapter's blog?

What was a new idea in this chapter?

What is an action you might take as a follow-up to reading this blog?

What did this blog entry make you more curious about?

January 16, 2021

January's focus is on Cultivating Compassion.  When we strengthen our compassion for ourselves and others, we are able to tap into another resource for resilience.  

Aguilar (2018, p.197) suggests, "Perspective allows us to recognize the complexity of a situation.  Perspective allows us to empathize with others, see the long view, extricate ourselves from the drama of a moment, and identify a wider range of responses to an event."

Definitions to Know:

• Pity - recognize someone's suffering from an emotional distance
• Sympathy - caring for someone who is suffering, but maintaining some emotional distance
• Empathy - place yourself in someone else's shoes and FEEL their pain
• Compassion - you are moved to take action to relieve someone else's suffering  

When I was reading these definitions I really felt the connection to Mrs. Murphy's One Step program that she does with the kids.  Some of the exact lessons and words she teaches to them, we as adults need to better understand and practice too.  

Aguilar (p.201) states; "Building compassion ought to be a primary goal for schools, districts, and organizations.  It needs to find its way into staff meetings and PD sessions."  WOW, I thought!  Can you imagine starting with a compassion practice before a data day, staff meeting, PLC meeting, and all of the myriad of other meetings we have.  Aguilar suggests putting it right into the agenda and has many ideas listed in this chapter.  

When we are more compassionate beings we are healthier and happier, we are more able to collaborate with others, it makes difficult relationships (a tiny bit) easier,  and it strengthens communities.  

We also need to practice self-compassion.  We need to recognize our emotions, name them without judgement, and allow them to settle in for a moment.  This allows us to remember that being human means being imperfect.  We all make mistakes and when we show compassion to ourselves, we are able to learn and grow from our mistakes.  

Aguilar (p.212) also states, "Forgiveness is about taking care of yourself."

Disposition: Perspective

Aguilar shares a strategy called "zooming out" in order to practice perspective.  When something bad happens try to see any good emerging from it.  Can you find any joy in the struggle.  Perspective doesn't diminish suffering or even a tragedy, it just allows us to see the long view, which sometimes helps us gain insight.  I tried this strategy as I paused and thought about the last year of our lives, living with Corona Virus.  It was difficult, but I was able to find some good in my life from it.  It forced me to live life slower, to rest and read more, and to be with those in my life that I care and love the most.  At a time in my teenagers' lives when they are usually so busy with work and extracurriculars, I was able to get extra time with my now 17 and 14 year old.  

Challenges and Strategies for Cultivating Compassion

1.  Choose a word that will set the tone for the new year.  Think of it as a chapter heading for the book that is your life.  Print this word out and place it somewhere you will see it every day.

2. Try the Lovingkindness Meditation.  You can hear it on the website www.onwardthebook.com

3. Kindness and compassion are communicated through simple, small actions.  Set an intention to become more aware of how you communicate care in small actions throughout. your day, for example; how you greet students, communicate with the office staff, or how you address parents.  

4.  Practice a Self-Compassion break when feeling overwhelmed by stress or pain.  First be mindful, without judgment or analysis, notice what you are feeling.  You might say; This is a moment of suffering, This hurts, or This is stressful.  Next remember you are not alone.  Everyone experiences deep and painful human emotions.  You might say; Suffering is a part of life or We all feel this way sometimes or We all struggle in our lives.  Finally, be kind to yourself.  You might put your hand on your heart and say something like; May I give myself compassion or May I accept myself as I am or May I be patient.

5. When you are struggling with someone try the practice Just Like Me.  Picture that person in your mind and then say, maybe even out loud:

Just like me, this person has suffered in life.

Just like me, this person has made mistakes and has regrets.

Just like me, this person wants to be happy.

6.  Watch "The Awesome Anthem" at www.theawesomeanthem.com. Share it with kids, colleagues, friends and neighbors.  What would you like to say to yourself that's inspired by this video?

7. Try nonviolent communication method to express yourself.  First state your observation, the feelings that emerge in response, what is needed or valued that causes the feeling and finally the request for a concrete action that I or you would like taken.

8.  The People Who Support Me:  When you're feeling stressed, threatened, or insecure, but want to feel caring and connected to others, this exercise might help.  Write down the names of one or two people to whom you turn when stressed or upset.  Write down three to five positive qualities that are common to these people.  Recall a specific situation in which you felt worried or upset and one of these people helped you.  Visualize that time.  Finally journal or think about about the way you felt in that situation.

9.  36 Questions to Fall in Love with Someone - In the mid-1990s, psychologist Arthur Aron identified 36 questions that when followed by 4 minutes of eye contact could make 2 strangers fall in love.  Since then writer and professor Mandy Len Cantron organized and modified them a little and then conducted her own experiment.  You can view one of her Ted Talks as she reflects on this experience.  What if we took 5 minutes at the beginning of a team or staff meeting to discuss one of these questions, some of them are even appropriate for students to talk about with each other.  Try using these questions to get to know a friend, colleague or partner better and don't forget to include the 4 minutes of silent eye contact after talking.

For those of you wanting more about this topic, here is one more resource that just popped up in my twitter feed the day after I wrote this post.  This article, "Regaining Compassion Satisfaction"  was written by Doug Fisher and Nancy Frey and in the last publication of Educational Leadership.

My reflections:  There were SO many good ideas to try to cultivate compassion in this chapter!  I am committed to trying the mantras and meditations.  I'm interested in choosing a word for myself this year, but I'm struggling to find one.  I DO think it would help bring focus and intention to my life.  

As always if this chapter strongly resonates with you, there are a lot more resources in the Onward Workbook that I'd be happy to share with you. Also, I would love to reflect and/or plan for trying any of these strategies with you.  

December 18, 2020

Elena Aguilar reminds us to Focus on the Bright Spots in December. That is; our personal strengths, assets, and skills.

Book I want to read: Tribes: A Process for Social Development and Cooperative Learning 

 Elena mentions a strategy from the book called "secret admirer" for the day.  I'd like to try this strategy (since I'll only be teaching on site for 1 semester this year) and try going without a clip chart, see what happens:). Students draw a name and keep it a secret.  You observe your person all day and find behavior to appreciate.  At the end of the day meeting, students reveal who they'd been watching and share their appreciations.  This was an example of focusing on strengths, assets or bright spots.  

Fact:  Danger lodges itself in your brain within a tenth of a second, whereas a positive experience requires at least 12 seconds to be absorbed.  

A mantra to use when scared, frustrated, upset:  Right now everything is okay, and I choose to direct my attention to something that's neutral or positive.

Do you struggle with receiving acknowledgement?  Just say "thank you" and soak in the appreciation:)

Setting Intentions:  Intention setting is a simple practice that can prime your mind to look for whatever information you tell it to look for.  An intention is softer and more personal than a goal.  It's how you want to orient your mind and heart, and what you want to pay attention to.  Sharing your intention helps make you more accountable to it.

A strategy for dealing with difficult emotions:

R - Recognize - step back into observation rather than reaction.  Name the emotion.

A - Accept whatever it is.  Show yourself self-compassion.

I - Investigate - What's going in inside me?  Where is this coming? Try to exercise an attitude of curiosity.

N - Nonidentification - Remind yourself that you are NOT your emotions or the stories your spin.  Feelings will pass. 

Disposition: Empowerment

When we find the resources to deal with challenges, we learn to believe in ourselves. Resilience is internal.  

Pause and Reflect with me:

1. Think about your journey this year.  What has been a struggle?  How have you been resourceful and met this challenge?  

2.  What is a strength that you've noticed in yourself this year?  

My Challenge for the month:

1. Journal in writing or say to someone else, "I am proud of myself for . . . "

2.  Of the ideas shared in this chapter, which would you like to explore further?

3.  Go on quest for bright spots.  Write down a few of the things you notice that you're doing well.

4.  Make a list of at least 10 mundane but also enjoyable moments that you can anticipate savoring this week.  (I'd LOVE to share mine with you)

5.  Do an Energy Check-In.  You can download it from www.onwardthebook.com I'd be happy to have a reflective and/or planning conversation with you about your findings.

If this chapter strongly resonates with you, there are a lot more resources in the Onward Workbook that I'd be happy to share with you, just let me know:)

My reflections:  I am proud of myself for being flexible.  I am typically very type A and like routines and patterns.  But I am noticing that I also appreciate changing things up.  So when my administration asked if I'd be willing to come back on site, I was able to handle this with appreciation and curiosity.  My challenge for myself this month is to write down the mundane but enjoyable moments in my life, especially over winter break.

November 14, 2020

November is called Take Care of Yourself.  Elena says in her book, Self care is the root of resilience when you're dragging yourself toward winter break and your emotions are raw.  Resilient people have a healthy self-perception, are committed to taking care of themselves, and accept themselves more or less as they are.

Pause and Reflect with me:
1. What's your history of self-care?  Are you on a trajectory of improvement, or has it been deteriorating?

2.  What might better self-care look like for you?

When I reflect on these questions I think about how physical exercise is a real emotional booster for me and my day wouldn't feel right if I didn't start with some sort of activity.  My work out pattern right now is using my apple watch to track steps, minutes of activity, and hours with at least 1 minute of standing.  I only wear my watch Monday - Friday, as I found my addictive personality with the watch kept me from really paying attention to my family on the weekends.  It was also a way to just disconnect.  My weekday workouts vary from walking outside 2 days/ week with close friends, watching a high intensity workout on you tube, running outside once a week, and walking and/or running on the treadmill at my house. I typically go on a hike or go disc golfing on the weekend, I just don't record it.  Better self care for me would definitely include less wine and more time standing instead of sitting in front of a computer.  I'd love to hear your reflections.

Elena also suggests we need to redefine what it means to be an educator.  Our kids need teachers who sleep 8 hours a night and walk every day and eat dinner with their families.  

Reflect:

1.  Whom do you know who does great work with kids in our school/district AND who lives a balanced life?

2.  Cultivate a vision for your life that's holistic - - one that includes self-care, personal growth, adventure, and celebration.  

My Challenge for the month:

Pick 1 of these areas for self-care this month and try to improve.  If you share your goal with me I'd be happy to be your accountability partner.  I'd also be happy to share Elena's information about each area with you.  

1. Sleep: The Magic Resilience Booster

2. Nutrition: You Are What You Eat

3.  Exercise: Put on Your Shoes and Take a Walk

4. Get It On (Yes, Elena specifically talks about this self-care and include a multitude of benefits of a healthy sex life.)

5. Spend Time in the Trees

6. Sit Near Water

7. Get Your 15 Minutes of Sun

8. Put Your Feet on the Earth

Some mantras to try this month: 

• This is good enough, and good enough is great.
• I am enough. I do enough.

Here is another resource I found on one of the podcasts I subscribe to if you're looking for even more on Resilience.

October 17, 2020

It was pretty ironic that the same year my dad passed away and Covid-19 began, 2 of the 3 biggest stressors I've ever experienced in my life, I happened to be reading Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators for my TLC professional development goal.  I read all the chapters and highlighted important ideas and had a grand idea to implement some of the teacher leader implications but found that the book was so deep with ideas that I needed another year to understand, reflect, and pick out big ideas to actually implement and share with my team.  So here we are . . . October 2020.  In the middle of a pandemic and coming upon the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death.  Hopefully, I've grown and am ready to implement and share some of Elena Aguilar's thoughts and research.  The book is organized by month and what the typical teacher goes through and feels in each month.  

October is called Be Here Now.  It is about learning to be in the present moment, without judging it and how this can help build our resilience.  October's disposition is humor and challenges the reader to find humor to relieve stress in a situation.  In October we might find that we have less energy and we can become triggered more easily.  By practicing mindfulness we can learn to be aware of our emotions and make choices.  

Elena suggests sitting down for ideally 20 minutes a day to practice mindfulness.  Since school closed in March due to Covid-19, I have practiced mindfulness using the app Headspace for about 10 minutes, 5 days a week.  I have worked through the courses of Acceptance, Letting Go of Stress, Transforming, Anger and Navigating Change to name just a few.  Lately I've been enjoying the daily feature.  I would highly recommend it to educators but I know there are a number of other great apps out there too.  

I love this definition of practicing mindfulness and was first introduced to it by Erin Murphy; an internal pause button.  I still have a long way to go, but the idea of mindfulness helping to build a space between a stimulus and the reaction really resonates with me.  One of the amazing things for educators is that science tells us that because of mirror neurons, if an adult is calm, focused, and self-aware, there is a much greater likelihood that our students will also be.  Mindful Schools says on its website,"Children reflect the nervous systems of adults around them." 

My challenges for the month: 

• Try to add mindfulness to your calendar this week.  Even for 5 minutes.  I'd love to reflect with you about it.  How was the time for you?  How did it compare to what you imagined it would be like?
• Notice more joy.  Reflect on joy in your life.  Pause right now and think about what comes to mind when you think about moments in your life that have been full of joy?  I thought of the end of a long run, that song that just makes you FEEL, relaxing in a lawn chair outside my camper.  How about you?  What about school?  
• Look for humor in your life. Desmond Tutu advices "if you start looking for humor in your life, you will find it. You will stop asking, "Why me?" and start recognizing that life happens to all of us. It makes everything easier, including your ability to accept others and accept all that life will bring" (Dalai Lama, Tutu, and Abrams, 2016, p222)

Please remember I'm always here for an authentic conversation, I can't be anything other than me.  I'm willing to listen, question, and want to continue to grow, as a human being, with you.